The Bachelorette

It looks like it's been almost a month since my last blog post.  I don't know where the time went.  I'm now 28 days into 2011 and everything is pretty much the same.  I didn't run off and meet a man in the last 30 days.  If that had been the cause of my absence, I would have posted something along the lines of "Met a guy. Don't want to blog about it. Be back when one of us changes his/her mind."  Nope, that's not what happened.  What did happen since I've been gone was this:

• I worked a good bit at both jobs (and a day at a cheerleading competition - way too much rah rah for my mental health)
• I fought a tiny battle with pseudo-strep throat
• I ate two pints of ice cream (to help with the throat, I swear!)
• I started watching "The Bachelor" (feel free to judge my taste in TV, but I know one of the girls on the show and that's why I'm watching... it is pretty entertaining, though)
• I made a fabulous wreath out of feather boas (I'm like a poor girl's Martha Stewart)
• I've been experimenting with cupcake flavors (king cake ones were delicious; next up are either tiramisu or lemon-raspberry)

I also went through a little mental overhaul.  I'll admit there have been a few weeks over the course of this long winter that I started down the path of self-pity - the whole woe-is-me, why can't I meet someone downward spiral.  At some point I snapped out of it.  I can't say when or why or how, it just happened.  Somewhere along the way, I decided it's perfectly ok to be 28 and single.  It's something to celebrate and to enjoy, rather than cry about or question.  I keep seeing articles or blog posts about why you're still single or where to meet someone or how to find love, and it's starting to get aggravating.  Here's a refreshing article I read today that is the exact opposite of those: To the Ladies Pining for a Relationship, Fret Not.  And here's a great quote from said article:

STOP IT. Stop it right now—the sad-eyed, self-doubting, nail-chewing longing. Eau de desperation is a stinky fragrance, and men can smell it a mile away. And you’re not even 40 yet! Get out there while you still can, sleep around, and enjoy that young body before nature’s forces drag it south.

Great advice! Get out there and enjoy life while you still can.  I'm still trying to figure out how to "enjoy that young body" without getting all crazy with feelings and whatnot, but in the meantime I've enjoyed all the fabulous aspects of single life that there are.  I've been flirting - with guys I don't know, guys I do know, guys I know I will never ever have a future with.  I rented a couple of chick flicks to get me through the days I was home sick (The Killers and Going the Distance - both pretty awful... I also rented Inglourious Basterds and it was fantastic! Another great job by Quentin Tarantino).  I have enjoyed dining out alone (food comes much faster at a table for 1).  I gave myself a couple of at-home manicures without having to listen to a guy bitch about the smell of polish and/or polish remover.  I went to the doctor when I was sick and had this fun exchange:

Doc: Just so you know, the shot and antibiotics may have some interaction with your birth control. I'm not quite positive, but you should be extra careful just in case.
Me: Thanks, but that's a non-issue.
Doc: (laughing) Ok, but keep that in mind in case your circumstances change.
Me: Thanks. On the off-chance I go out man-hunting in my current state, I will remember that.

There was no man-hunting, and I took my last dose of antibiotic this morning. Consider that a warning.

While watching "The Bachelor," I saw what single and desperate looked like and instead of sympathizing with the girl, I got aggravated. One of the girls who failed to get a rose (Keltie, the Radio City Rockette) cried through her exit interview that she had tried everything - blind dates, online dating, fix-ups, everything! - and going on the show was her last shot at finding love.  She said that she may just be destined to be single.  You know what I say?  Stop resigning yourself to a life of flannel pj's and hundreds of cats. You're clearly looking at this the wrong way.  You're single, attractive, and you have a crazy cool job.  Have you ever tried walking up to a man (at a bar, coffee shop, anywhere) and saying, "Hi. I'm a Rockette. I can kick my leg up to my ear"?  That's what I would do.  I have no idea what I'd do after using that line, but it would be fun to use!  The closest I can come is, "Hi. I take dance classes and do yoga three times a week."  I don't know how far it'll get me, but I'm just putting it out there.


I even found myself telling a coworker who was upset about postponing her wedding that it may be a blessing in disguise because (1) what's the rush? and (2) now you can save some more money and have a more fabulous honeymoon. And as I said the words I began asking myself the same question... what's the rush? Sure, part of it can be attributed to nature and my stupid biological clock. Part of it is society and the idea that you're supposed to get married and reproduce. Make no mistake, I do intend to get married and have kids one day, but that day doesn't have to be today or tomorrow. It will happen in due time and there's no need to make it happen super fast, because once it happens everything changes. I've always said that I'll know I'm ready to have kids when I become less selfish than I currently am. That surely hasn't changed, so no need for babies just yet. And as far as a husband goes, I don't need one of those right now either, so put away the video camera because it's definitely not time to make my "Bachelor" audition tape.