It's been a frustrating morning. We had to reschedule a work function due to the threat of bad weather. It's a logical cancellation and I'm sure we will have a great event on the new date, but I'm still frustrated.
Remember in the last post how I mentioned having a less than spectacular 4th date with one of the 2 guys I've been seeing? That's part of the source of my work frustration. After a night that was so miserable I really thought the only way to end it was for me to run screaming from my own home, I heard nothing from him for a little while. Then he tried to claim his attempt at sarcasm just wasn't good. Really? What kind of crazy person tells the same bad joke for 2 hours? I'm not even close to foolish enough to believe that nonsense. That was followed up with a series of texts that made zero sense, followed by an explanation that those strange texts were the result of him being "over served" alcohol at an event. Nothing was making that terrible date any better. If anything, it all just kept getting worse. Then he asked me on Friday if I was free to meet up that night. I was not, as I was sitting in a nosebleed seat at the Elton John concert (a show I had mentioned going to no less than 8 times in the course of a week; it was amazing, BTW). I reminded him I was at the show, he said to enjoy myself, and that was that. Haven't heard much from him since, and I'm not complaining.
What does all of that long-winded storytelling have to do with my work function? He is supposed to attend that event (we work in the same industry). So even though I haven't heard from him in a good little bit, I knew I would see him tomorrow. I suspected he may say something or hint at something or, I don't know, something might come up and I have been preparing myself for the time that I have to be an adult and say, "This isn't working for me" or "I'm just not feeling this anymore" or "we should just be friends" or "you're fired" or "you're an ass clown." And now that moment has been taken from me (thanks, Mother Nature). I realize there is the distinct possibility that his radio silence is a solid indication he isn't feeling it either, which would be awesome, but sometimes you just really want to know that one door is completely closed so that you can really focus on the one that is open.
What's a girl to do?
On a much brighter note, I made a complete fool out of myself on a date with the other guy (who I guess at this point technically becomes the guy) last weekend and he has been totally cool about it. Word to the wise - that old adage "beer before liquor, never been sicker" is totally and completely accurate. Trust me on that and save yourself the embarrassment of learning it the hard way. I'll be much better about that this weekend, that's for sure!
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
What Does Your Gut Say?
Trust your gut. Trust your instincts. Go with your gut feeling. Are you listening to your gut? We've all run across this question or idea at least once in our lives. When it comes to my job, I'm great at this. My instincts are strong and rarely lead me astray. Elections? Most of the time I can call the runoff candidates and winner before the primary has happened. I can give you guidance or my theories on legislation - at any level - while it's still in process. It's not because I have inside information. My job is something I understand quite well. I trust my intuition and I'm right about things 9 times out of 10.
Relationships and men, on the other hand, not so much.
It's hard to even give your gut a chance to speak when looking at dating profiles. How can you possibly form an educated guess about a description of a person, let alone have your instincts kick in to tell you if they're bad news?
In the real world with 3 dimensional men, I'm not much better. Or maybe I am, but I'm second guessing myself. Or maybe not. But maybe. (And therein lies the problem.)
Let's take, for example, what happens when people ask me how this whole thing is going. I've said this exact line way more than once in regards to one person:
"He's pretty great. But..." But what, exactly? "I don't really know. I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."
The question now is this: am I pushing away from a perfectly fine human being because I'm guarded or slightly afraid OR is my gut telling me something is off? I've been struggling with this for over a week. Then on the 4th date things went less than spectacular (read: shit-tastic) and I'm beginning to think it was my gut.
Flip of the coin: There's another guy who, by all accounts (mine and those of people who met him), is pretty awesome. There's one thing about him I'm struggling with, of which he is well aware. It wouldn't be abnormal or mean of me to say I didn't think it would work out and walk away. Do I want to do that? Nope. But why? I don't know. Something tells me to see where it goes, and that's really what I want to do. Is it my gut telling me to keep going? Maybe. Probably. Hell if I know. What I do know for sure is out of the stupid amount of dates I've been on in the last couple of weeks, my #1 favorite moment happened at a basketball game we went to. While I have often told myself I won't go into details on specific people or dates on this blog, I'm going to share with you fabulous readers what this one fantastic moment was that still sticks out so brightly in my mind (at the very least, it will give you an idea of the kind of crazy you get with me).
We're sitting at the game and I look over to see him yawning. I said to him, jokingly, "Sorry I'm not fun enough for you." Without missing a beat he said, "Me too." I cracked up laughing. Touche', sir. Had he said it with a frown or while glaring at me, I would've thought he was a jerk. But we both knew it was a joke, and I thought it was a pretty funny one. My sarcastic sense of humor met its match.
And now that I've relived that moment in my head, I feel better than I have in the last 24 hours. Many thanks to my mystery date for that moment (and, hey, you're important enough to be anonymously mentioned in my ridiculous blog! Go you!). Now I'll get back to trying to listen to my gut. So far all I can hear is that it's time to take down St. Patrick's Day decorations, and that I should probably cook a decent meal tonight.
Relationships and men, on the other hand, not so much.
It's hard to even give your gut a chance to speak when looking at dating profiles. How can you possibly form an educated guess about a description of a person, let alone have your instincts kick in to tell you if they're bad news?
In the real world with 3 dimensional men, I'm not much better. Or maybe I am, but I'm second guessing myself. Or maybe not. But maybe. (And therein lies the problem.)
Let's take, for example, what happens when people ask me how this whole thing is going. I've said this exact line way more than once in regards to one person:
"He's pretty great. But..." But what, exactly? "I don't really know. I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."
The question now is this: am I pushing away from a perfectly fine human being because I'm guarded or slightly afraid OR is my gut telling me something is off? I've been struggling with this for over a week. Then on the 4th date things went less than spectacular (read: shit-tastic) and I'm beginning to think it was my gut.
Flip of the coin: There's another guy who, by all accounts (mine and those of people who met him), is pretty awesome. There's one thing about him I'm struggling with, of which he is well aware. It wouldn't be abnormal or mean of me to say I didn't think it would work out and walk away. Do I want to do that? Nope. But why? I don't know. Something tells me to see where it goes, and that's really what I want to do. Is it my gut telling me to keep going? Maybe. Probably. Hell if I know. What I do know for sure is out of the stupid amount of dates I've been on in the last couple of weeks, my #1 favorite moment happened at a basketball game we went to. While I have often told myself I won't go into details on specific people or dates on this blog, I'm going to share with you fabulous readers what this one fantastic moment was that still sticks out so brightly in my mind (at the very least, it will give you an idea of the kind of crazy you get with me).
We're sitting at the game and I look over to see him yawning. I said to him, jokingly, "Sorry I'm not fun enough for you." Without missing a beat he said, "Me too." I cracked up laughing. Touche', sir. Had he said it with a frown or while glaring at me, I would've thought he was a jerk. But we both knew it was a joke, and I thought it was a pretty funny one. My sarcastic sense of humor met its match.
And now that I've relived that moment in my head, I feel better than I have in the last 24 hours. Many thanks to my mystery date for that moment (and, hey, you're important enough to be anonymously mentioned in my ridiculous blog! Go you!). Now I'll get back to trying to listen to my gut. So far all I can hear is that it's time to take down St. Patrick's Day decorations, and that I should probably cook a decent meal tonight.
Monday, March 17, 2014
The Latest and Greatest
I've pretty much stopped responding to new messages on my dating profile. It's still up because I'm not at any point where taking it down is the right move. I'll log on and read whatever new messages I've received (still lots of "hey" and "hi there" and nothing of real merit), but that's about it. I've just been a little busy lately and haven't really had much interest in whatever or whomever is out there.
In the last week, there have been drinks, a basketball game, a surprising amount of hot dog consumption, a parade, more drinks, and a day on the lake. And that's just from dating. Let's not get into my job or any other plans I've had that haven't been dates.
Here's all the relevant information that you need to know: I'm having a blast and I'd like to do something about this stupid grin that won't leave my face, but I can't figure out how to make it go away.
:D
And the answer to last week's question is 2, as of now.
In the last week, there have been drinks, a basketball game, a surprising amount of hot dog consumption, a parade, more drinks, and a day on the lake. And that's just from dating. Let's not get into my job or any other plans I've had that haven't been dates.
Here's all the relevant information that you need to know: I'm having a blast and I'd like to do something about this stupid grin that won't leave my face, but I can't figure out how to make it go away.
:D
And the answer to last week's question is 2, as of now.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Inquiring Minds
Seems some of you nosy bastards want to know how my weekend was. Here's a recap:
Friday night was enjoyable - dinner with family and drinks after with one of my girls. I spent most of the day Saturday on a girls' trip around NOLA, which was super fun. I spent Sunday doing stuff around my house. Overall, it was a very nice weekend.
What's that? You want to know about Saturday night? Well, I tried sushi for the first time ever. I didn't hate it, but it will definitely take some more attempts before I can decide whether I will be a sushi person or not. The ice cream after was pretty great. So was the company I had for the evening.
And while I know that Monday definitely isn't part of the weekend, I enjoyed pretty great company over beer & nachos last night.
Oh, you have another question? Same person or 2 different people?
Wouldn't you like to know... ;)
Friday night was enjoyable - dinner with family and drinks after with one of my girls. I spent most of the day Saturday on a girls' trip around NOLA, which was super fun. I spent Sunday doing stuff around my house. Overall, it was a very nice weekend.
What's that? You want to know about Saturday night? Well, I tried sushi for the first time ever. I didn't hate it, but it will definitely take some more attempts before I can decide whether I will be a sushi person or not. The ice cream after was pretty great. So was the company I had for the evening.
And while I know that Monday definitely isn't part of the weekend, I enjoyed pretty great company over beer & nachos last night.
Oh, you have another question? Same person or 2 different people?
Wouldn't you like to know... ;)
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
What Happened on Saturday
If you read last week's post, you know that Saturday had the potential to be complete chaos since I invited basically everyone I knew to join my group for some Mardi Gras parades. Some people made it and some people didn't, but the ones who did seemed to have a great time (regardless of the fact that my dad was poking people with a questionable screw he found on the ground). Among those who showed up - a guy I met online.
On the surface it seemed like a great plan. I'll be surrounded by people who know me and can protect me in case this guy is a serial killer or something. Need a little liquid courage? Drinking is perfectly acceptable at Mardi Gras. Things not working out so well? I can always throw out a "great to meet you, but I need to go help my friend with her baby" or something like that.
After a couple hours of playing the "Oh, is that him?" game and texting back and forth about how I'm in a purple shirt standing next to someone in a pink wig (and then chasing the woman in the pink wig when she kept walking away from me - thanks for that), he showed up and we met in person for the first time. We talked a little from a few feet behind the vast stretch of parade route real estate my group had acquired. He asked if I knew everyone (yes) and if they were all family and friends.
And that's when it hit me.
This was the most uncool first meetup/date I could've ever planned.
That's right - on the very first time I met this guy, he also met most of my inner circle, including my freaking parents! What was I thinking?!?!? Color me shocked (note: sarcasm) when he stuck around for a few minutes and then said he was leaving, but with a promise to come back. Yeah right, buddy. I just introduced you to my parents after 5 minutes of you actually knowing me. I certainly wouldn't hold it against you if you ran. Joke of the day came from a friend who said that guy's Saturday blog update would read "Crazy Chick Introduces Me to Her Parents at Initial Meeting."
But then the strangest thing happened....
He came back. And he stuck around. In fact, he fit in so easily that one of my college friends spent most of the night thinking he was a relative. At the end of the night, he said he enjoyed himself and thanked me for the invitation.
We have plans to see each other again this weekend. :)
On the surface it seemed like a great plan. I'll be surrounded by people who know me and can protect me in case this guy is a serial killer or something. Need a little liquid courage? Drinking is perfectly acceptable at Mardi Gras. Things not working out so well? I can always throw out a "great to meet you, but I need to go help my friend with her baby" or something like that.
After a couple hours of playing the "Oh, is that him?" game and texting back and forth about how I'm in a purple shirt standing next to someone in a pink wig (and then chasing the woman in the pink wig when she kept walking away from me - thanks for that), he showed up and we met in person for the first time. We talked a little from a few feet behind the vast stretch of parade route real estate my group had acquired. He asked if I knew everyone (yes) and if they were all family and friends.
And that's when it hit me.
This was the most uncool first meetup/date I could've ever planned.
Hi! Great to finally meet you in person! Allow me to now introduce you to my parents, my brother, my brother's girlfriend, my best friend and her husband, baby, parents and brother (who I lived with for 3 years). Over here are friends from college, and on that side over there is more family - my great aunt & great uncle, cousins, their kids, and their friends.
That's right - on the very first time I met this guy, he also met most of my inner circle, including my freaking parents! What was I thinking?!?!? Color me shocked (note: sarcasm) when he stuck around for a few minutes and then said he was leaving, but with a promise to come back. Yeah right, buddy. I just introduced you to my parents after 5 minutes of you actually knowing me. I certainly wouldn't hold it against you if you ran. Joke of the day came from a friend who said that guy's Saturday blog update would read "Crazy Chick Introduces Me to Her Parents at Initial Meeting."
But then the strangest thing happened....
He came back. And he stuck around. In fact, he fit in so easily that one of my college friends spent most of the night thinking he was a relative. At the end of the night, he said he enjoyed himself and thanked me for the invitation.
We have plans to see each other again this weekend. :)
A Note to the New Readers
Welcome to any and all of you who have only recently started reading this ridiculous blog! I'm so happy to have you here to share in this adventure with me. I just wanted to throw out some quick information to you to help make a couple of things clear.
I started this blog back in 2010 when I tried online dating for the first time. I found myself repeating stories to my friends and family and decided it would be easier to write it once and invite them to read it, so that's how this started. If you're incredibly curious, horribly bored, or just a fan of reading things on the internet, you are welcome to backtrack your way through to where it all began. I do it from time to time just to relive the journey and see how far I've come. The most important thing to keep in mind is that when I started this back then I wasn't ready. I was absolutely nowhere near the mindset I needed to be to date anyone, much less meet strangers off the internet. It had been about 2 years since a bad breakup, a terrible rebound, and a subsequent additional bad breakup, and I thought for sure that 2 years was enough time to heal. For me, it wasn't. The first clue should have been the amount of time I spent telling people how I was fine and over everything (the lady doth protest too much). The second clue is easily found in those earlier posts. No one came close to being good enough; I was incredibly and unreasonably picky. I cringe a little when I read those posts, but it's part of the learning and growing process. This is what you will find in the posts from 2010-2011. Proceed with caution, mind the dates of the posts, and know that I have gotten better (at least I think I have).
As for 2012-2013 posts, I wasn't actively online dating at that time. The posts you will see here (all 5 of them) are a variety of funny stories and diary entries. Maybe a song triggered a memory, or an article made me feel the need to vent. Maybe a guy I was crushing on made me feel a little crazy and I had to get it off my chest. Or maybe some super fantastic nut job invited me to survive the end of the world in his family's bunker. Regardless of the reason, I needed to clear my head. These posts are the result.
That brings us to 2014. I signed up on a website last month and here we are at the latest in online dating shenanigans. Sure it's fun to tell stories, but I also hope to take some of the stigma out of the whole issue. Since starting this bad boy up again, I've heard from several singles - both men and women - about what their experiences have been. Some people comment directly on Facebook threads, while others send me private messages, text me or share stories with me when we meet up in public. Life is more fun when you can share it with people, and online dating is no exception.
If you have a story to share, please feel free. If you have questions or suggestions, bring it on (though some of you are definitely not shy about speaking your mind). I've even had someone ask to do a guest post, and I'm cool with that, too. Let's make dating fun again, because even the really crappy dates can be great stories.
Thanks for reading!
I started this blog back in 2010 when I tried online dating for the first time. I found myself repeating stories to my friends and family and decided it would be easier to write it once and invite them to read it, so that's how this started. If you're incredibly curious, horribly bored, or just a fan of reading things on the internet, you are welcome to backtrack your way through to where it all began. I do it from time to time just to relive the journey and see how far I've come. The most important thing to keep in mind is that when I started this back then I wasn't ready. I was absolutely nowhere near the mindset I needed to be to date anyone, much less meet strangers off the internet. It had been about 2 years since a bad breakup, a terrible rebound, and a subsequent additional bad breakup, and I thought for sure that 2 years was enough time to heal. For me, it wasn't. The first clue should have been the amount of time I spent telling people how I was fine and over everything (the lady doth protest too much). The second clue is easily found in those earlier posts. No one came close to being good enough; I was incredibly and unreasonably picky. I cringe a little when I read those posts, but it's part of the learning and growing process. This is what you will find in the posts from 2010-2011. Proceed with caution, mind the dates of the posts, and know that I have gotten better (at least I think I have).
As for 2012-2013 posts, I wasn't actively online dating at that time. The posts you will see here (all 5 of them) are a variety of funny stories and diary entries. Maybe a song triggered a memory, or an article made me feel the need to vent. Maybe a guy I was crushing on made me feel a little crazy and I had to get it off my chest. Or maybe some super fantastic nut job invited me to survive the end of the world in his family's bunker. Regardless of the reason, I needed to clear my head. These posts are the result.
That brings us to 2014. I signed up on a website last month and here we are at the latest in online dating shenanigans. Sure it's fun to tell stories, but I also hope to take some of the stigma out of the whole issue. Since starting this bad boy up again, I've heard from several singles - both men and women - about what their experiences have been. Some people comment directly on Facebook threads, while others send me private messages, text me or share stories with me when we meet up in public. Life is more fun when you can share it with people, and online dating is no exception.
If you have a story to share, please feel free. If you have questions or suggestions, bring it on (though some of you are definitely not shy about speaking your mind). I've even had someone ask to do a guest post, and I'm cool with that, too. Let's make dating fun again, because even the really crappy dates can be great stories.
Thanks for reading!
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