So Much Stuff I Made a Listicle

The last couple of weeks have been nothing short of insane. Lots of mostly good stuff, a few obnoxious moments. Let's save us all from multiple posts and just have a listicle instead! (And let's take a moment to either laugh or eye roll - or both - at the word "listicle.") These are in no particular order.

1. James Marsden on screen is sexy. James Marsden in person is even better.

2. I am a football girl, always have been and always will be. I like other sports (basketball, NASCAR, soccer), but baseball has always bored me to tears. I can get behind the college world series, but MLB and I don't get along. That said, baseball players are some good looking fellas.

3. Finding out the next day that the minor league baseball player you flirted with all night actually has a major league contract might blow your mind a little. In a world full of people who want to announce how they're kind of a big deal, it's super refreshing when someone just doesn't do that.

4. Physical violence is never the answer to whatever problem you're having. In all reality, if you take a deep breath and step back, the problem may not be as big as it seems. I don't care what someone said about your cell phone, your mama, your significant other, your job or your pet, there's just no good reason for hitting someone. And if you're getting physical because you think women find it sexy, you're wrong. Sure, some chick somewhere might like that, but I hope you two never find each other because the world just doesn't need the chaos that would ensue.

5. Australian accents are great. Australian accents on attractive men are better. Hearing an attractive man with an Australian accent tell you that you're "fucking gorgeous" may result in an uncontrollable giggle fit.

6. I may be the world's worst flirt. "I'd like to buy you a drink because... you... look... thirsty?"

7. "I'm looking for someone who wants to hit it and not quit it" is a great phrase. It is appearing in this blog because I said it would.

8. Sometimes you really like a person and do nothing about it except harbor a crush. And then life gets in the way and time and distance keep you from seeing each other and you think you're over it, but then one day your paths cross and you realize you're not. When that happens, you come to the realization that maybe it's time to man up or move on, because you're doing a disservice to yourself and wonderful single men around you by not being fully available.

9. I am absolutely terrified to man up.

10. It's highly likely that I'm not fully available (as opposed to the constant accusation that I'm exceptionally picky).

11. Those last 3 points could have all been put under one number, but I spaced them out as a tribute to Peter King and his inability to make a numbered list in any way that makes sense.

a. In full tribute to Peter King, I'm throwing in a letter that doesn't belong because that is how bad his lists are.

12. I can't get behind the idea of being with someone because you're content with each other. As my Graunt, aka the voice of reason, would ask me anytime I had a past relationship issue, "Are you happy?" Happy and content are not the same thing, and I refuse to settle for the latter.

13. If you "meet" someone online and then find yourself apologizing for your behavior before you even meet in person, this probably does not bode well.

14. The award for worst possible suggestion for the first in-person meet up with someone from the internet surely goes to the guy who wanted to meet me in the ICU waiting room of a local hospital. There is nothing ok about that suggestion.

15. Tinder is hilarious. What is not funny is when a stranger walks up to you and says, "I just swiped right on you." This happened to a friend of mine Friday night. Ladies and gents of internet dating, let's all remember to try not to be creepy.

16. It's unfortunate that "yolo" has been associated with stupid people doing stupid things. Life should be celebrated and we should all embrace the one shot at it that we each have and enjoy the hell out of it.

I think that's a good place to stop. It really has been a wild couple of weekends, and I'm sure I missed something, but I can surely address any omissions later. Seriously, though, what kind of guy suggests meeting up in a hospital waiting room? Who are these weirdos that I attract?? Time to get back to swiping.

And Then There Were None

Bear with me here, folks, as this is all very fresh on my mind since it really just wrapped up within the last couple of hours. I was briefly seeing two guys, and then one guy, and now zero guys. We know what went down with one of them - he made me feel unwelcome in my own home and was just really not the right guy for me. Water under the bridge and incredibly easy to move on from (seriously, no love lost for a guy who flips out about shrimp). As for the other one...

I liked him. I really did and still do (naturally, I mean this all JUST happened). I enjoyed seeing him, spending time with him and talking to him. I was proceeding with caution, mostly because that's just how I operate, and also because, as he put it, we were pretty mismatched. I came to realize he was right about that and that we likely had an expiration date, but I was still willing and perfectly happy to continue on like we had until we just couldn't anymore. I didn't realize that time would come so soon.

It doesn't matter if you've been with someone for years or months, it still sucks when you agree that it's over. There are varying degrees of heartache, and this certainly isn't to the extent of sobbing into ice cream and cursing men, but there have been a couple tears today and there may be a couple more when I get home from work later. I'm an emotional being and I'm always sad to see something come to an end, even if I know deep down inside it wasn't meant to be. I also have this nagging feeling in my gut that there's more to the story, and while I tend to question my gut, it's such a strong feeling that I just can't question it. I'm trying to ignore it, though, partly because I can't do anything about it and partly because it really, really, REALLY pisses me off. And that's as far as I'm going to get into that one because I've already been passive aggressive enough about it.

I guess now it's time for this female Ted Mosby to get back on the proverbial horse. And if, should the time come for this blog to end with a happily ever after, I end up with someone I've known all along, you're all more than welcome to throw tomatoes at me or something. For now, the story continues...