The weekend I had was something. I have yet to decide if it was something remarkable or ridiculous (though I'm leaning towards the latter), but it surely was nothing short of eventful. It was a weekend where almost every minute was filled with something to do, which I tend to enjoy. Here's the recap:
Friday:
I went to a VIP party for a new bar opening up in the town where I live (not to be confused with the town I party in.... this was no VIP party in NOLA, but it was good enough). I was told the dress code was "look nice," which I interpreted as dress for a night out but don't look like a tramp. Easy enough. Armed with my favorite LBD and some fancy new heels, I hit the road. The bar was nice, the drinks were free and I knew just about everyone there. It was a good night for the most part. The part that bothered me was how many times I was approached by guys I knew saying, "You look hot" (or some variation). I'm not one to shy away from a compliment, so that wasn't the issue. I also know that my typical look for work and home involves minimal makeup and casual clothing and that my going-out look tends to get reactions from people who aren't used to seeing me this way (I think I took She's All That to heart a little too much). My problem? Thanks for the kind words, but I believe your wife is looking for you. Not a problem if the guy is saying, "You look nice," but the word hot conjures up totally different emotions. And the married thing was the case 98% of the time. The times when it wasn't: the bar owner told me I should get dressed up pretty and head to his bar often to "pick up chicks." I know I'm rarely ever seen with a guy (lately I just can't seem to tolerate them), but I'm not about to switch teams (that's not how that works anyway). I didn't feel a need to get on my soapbox, so I responded with a smile and "You're right. That sounds like a great idea." Conversation over. The other time was when a guy I knew to be unmarried told me he barely recognized me all dressed up. I thanked him and we started talking about how it had been a while since we'd seen each other. I remarked, "Last time I saw you, you were just moving in with your girlfriend." (I'm surprisingly smooth sometimes.) He told me that didn't work out and I started thinking this was going well... and then... one of his friends walked up and told him his girlfriend needed a refill. His face turned red, he walked away, and I spent the rest of my night hanging out "safe" people. The point is that, yes, it's nice to be noticed and complimented. But it gets really annoying when it's coming from guys who are completely unavailable - and if you have a wedding ring or a girlfriend, in my book, that makes you COMPLETELY unavailable. It's like knowing yesterday's winning lottery numbers - totally useless. Do me a favor and keep it to yourself. Obviously, should circumstances change, feel free to share your feelings, though that's no guarantee that they will be reciprocated. Which leads us to....
Saturday:
One of my BFF's was celebrating her birthday and we went to a local bar to party. It was also the night of the "official" reunion for our high school class, which was combined with the "official" reunion for the graduation class a year after us. Aforementioned friend and I threw an "unofficial" party last year (because an 11 year reunion makes no sense) and had decided against going to the recent one, but we knew almost everyone who attended would show up at the same bar. Two birds, one stone. My night was spent with lots of "I haven't seen you in soooo long!" comments and plenty of reminiscing and catching up. And then somebody played a cruel joke on me, or so it seemed. It certainly doesn't seem like reality. Not one, not 2, but 4 of the guys I spoke with told me they'd had a crush on me for a really long time. It got to the point that when the 4th guy said those words, I asked him if he was fu@$!ng kidding me and who had paid him to tell me that. Seriously, that shit doesn't happen to me... or anyone outside of a Hollywood movie. It would be different if the conversation was more like "I had the biggest crush on you but now..." That's not how it was, though. It was along the lines of "I had the biggest crush on you! I can't believe you're single and here we are." Again with the starry eyed nonsense? Stop that, fellas. I'm the girl here, not you.
Then came the pissing contests. There were conversations between guys over whether I was there with one of them, or going home with one of them, or if one was cock blocking another. Do I not get a say in any of this? The best part was that some of these guys gossip worse than girls I know, and they proceeded to tell me all the sordid details of their conversations with each other about me. This is about the point in time where I should've shouted, "To hell with all of you!" and run out the door, but it seems I spent Saturday without a conscience or much sense at all. I can't blame it on the alcohol. I knew I had plans with my dad for Father's Day and didn't want to disappoint him by being hungover, so being drunk wasn't it. For reasons I still can't understand, I stuck around and endured the foolishness. I didn't put my foot down. I didn't tell them to go jump off a cliff or annoy some other girl. I guess I was just being an attention whore. I did draw the line at the almost-fight. There is absolutely nothing attractive about guys fighting over you. It's very caveman-esque and made me feel like a piece of property. Not cool.
Luckily, Saturday ended and Sunday came around, bringing with it my conscience and hopefully some better decision-making skills. I have another crazy busy weekend of partying ahead of me, so we'll see if that holds true.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
I Need to See Some ID
This blog has been going for almost a year now and dating still never ceases to amaze me. Yes, I'm still single (and some would argue still picky, but I'm ok with that) and I'm still searching for that elusive perfect-man-for-me. One day dating will seem easier, probably right around the time I meet Mr. Right and never date again. Until then, here's yet another story of my failed attempts...
I was out for drinks with a friend of mine when two guys walked in and sat at the table next to us. I recognized them as guys I had talked to several months earlier. They're out of state guys hanging out at the local watering hole while living out of suitcases for some job. We had some friendly conversation the last time I saw them and I told them I'd be around the bar to chat again in the future and then proceeded to not show up at said bar again for 3 months. Nice of me, right? I swear it wasn't intentional. Fast forward three months later and as I get up from the table to walk to the other side of the bar, one of the guys grabs my arm and says, "You're not leaving, are you? I've waited 3 months to talk to you again and I'd hate to see you leave right now." Sweet in a sort of creepy way. I assured him I wasn't leaving and would be back to chat with him and his buddy later, and I did.
Conversation was all good just like before, and I'll admit I thought one of the guys was kind of attractive. He was from West Virginia and had a well-kept beard, appealing to the small part of me that seems to have a thing for lumberjacks or mountain men or something. As we're talking, he mentions going to see his son the following weekend. I'm usually not one for the ready-made family, but he was easy to talk to and seemed cute in the horrible bar lighting, so I let it slide. Then he says, "I have to spend time with him while I can. He's 17 and will be going to college next year and..." I'm sure there was more after that, but once I heard 17 and college, my mind left the conversation and started doing mental math. I kept telling myself that this was still salvageable. I know people who got married days after high school graduation and had kids within a year afterwards. If that's the case, that would put him mid-30s. No problem. Hell, I know people who had kids while still in high school.... even better! I'll let this go on for a bit longer....
So then we start talking jobs and I tell him I work for the state. He starts reminiscing about when he worked for the state right out of high school and how he was just starting to enjoy that job, but left it to join the military. What prompted the sudden change? Well, one of his close friends was killed in the first Gulf War. That's right, Operation Desert Storm, as in the war fought from 1990-1991. Yet again, my mind leaves the conversation and heads over to do some mental math. I remembered when the war was because I had an uncle who served in Iraq during that time. I distinctly remembered being in 3rd grade and about 8-9 years old. This guy was serving our country overseas while I was buying New Kids on the Block gear and singing Debbie Gibson songs in my hairbrush. Logic says he's at least a decade older than me. My friend told me to ask him directly how old he was, except that idea scared me. By not asking, I can crunch the numbers in my favor and pretend he's late 30s to early 40s. But if I ask, well, I don't want to even imagine how that turns out.
I understand age is just a number. I'm pushing 29, feel 22 and have been told I look 24. What difference does it make if this guy is 35 or 49? It shouldn't make one at all, really, but for some reason it does to me. Forgive me if I want to date a guy closer to my age than my father's. I would love to say this is the only time I've had this issue, but I'm really terrible at guessing ages. I'm ok with realizing when a guy is younger than me, but for the most part I have this mindset that anyone who isn't clearly older than me must be somewhere around my age. I'm usually shocked when I hear someone's actual age, as I'm normally way off in my assumptions (people should be thanking me, really).
You know what would be great? If you found out everything of importance about a person when you first said hello. Like if I walked up to a guy in a bar and said hello and a neon sign above his head said "35 and married but not wearing a ring" or "26, single, mommy's boy" or "42, in a relationship, thinks it's cool to text pictures of his penis." That would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? Though I hate to think of what mine would say...
I was out for drinks with a friend of mine when two guys walked in and sat at the table next to us. I recognized them as guys I had talked to several months earlier. They're out of state guys hanging out at the local watering hole while living out of suitcases for some job. We had some friendly conversation the last time I saw them and I told them I'd be around the bar to chat again in the future and then proceeded to not show up at said bar again for 3 months. Nice of me, right? I swear it wasn't intentional. Fast forward three months later and as I get up from the table to walk to the other side of the bar, one of the guys grabs my arm and says, "You're not leaving, are you? I've waited 3 months to talk to you again and I'd hate to see you leave right now." Sweet in a sort of creepy way. I assured him I wasn't leaving and would be back to chat with him and his buddy later, and I did.
Conversation was all good just like before, and I'll admit I thought one of the guys was kind of attractive. He was from West Virginia and had a well-kept beard, appealing to the small part of me that seems to have a thing for lumberjacks or mountain men or something. As we're talking, he mentions going to see his son the following weekend. I'm usually not one for the ready-made family, but he was easy to talk to and seemed cute in the horrible bar lighting, so I let it slide. Then he says, "I have to spend time with him while I can. He's 17 and will be going to college next year and..." I'm sure there was more after that, but once I heard 17 and college, my mind left the conversation and started doing mental math. I kept telling myself that this was still salvageable. I know people who got married days after high school graduation and had kids within a year afterwards. If that's the case, that would put him mid-30s. No problem. Hell, I know people who had kids while still in high school.... even better! I'll let this go on for a bit longer....
So then we start talking jobs and I tell him I work for the state. He starts reminiscing about when he worked for the state right out of high school and how he was just starting to enjoy that job, but left it to join the military. What prompted the sudden change? Well, one of his close friends was killed in the first Gulf War. That's right, Operation Desert Storm, as in the war fought from 1990-1991. Yet again, my mind leaves the conversation and heads over to do some mental math. I remembered when the war was because I had an uncle who served in Iraq during that time. I distinctly remembered being in 3rd grade and about 8-9 years old. This guy was serving our country overseas while I was buying New Kids on the Block gear and singing Debbie Gibson songs in my hairbrush. Logic says he's at least a decade older than me. My friend told me to ask him directly how old he was, except that idea scared me. By not asking, I can crunch the numbers in my favor and pretend he's late 30s to early 40s. But if I ask, well, I don't want to even imagine how that turns out.
I understand age is just a number. I'm pushing 29, feel 22 and have been told I look 24. What difference does it make if this guy is 35 or 49? It shouldn't make one at all, really, but for some reason it does to me. Forgive me if I want to date a guy closer to my age than my father's. I would love to say this is the only time I've had this issue, but I'm really terrible at guessing ages. I'm ok with realizing when a guy is younger than me, but for the most part I have this mindset that anyone who isn't clearly older than me must be somewhere around my age. I'm usually shocked when I hear someone's actual age, as I'm normally way off in my assumptions (people should be thanking me, really).
You know what would be great? If you found out everything of importance about a person when you first said hello. Like if I walked up to a guy in a bar and said hello and a neon sign above his head said "35 and married but not wearing a ring" or "26, single, mommy's boy" or "42, in a relationship, thinks it's cool to text pictures of his penis." That would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? Though I hate to think of what mine would say...
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