This blog has been going for almost a year now and dating still never ceases to amaze me. Yes, I'm still single (and some would argue still picky, but I'm ok with that) and I'm still searching for that elusive perfect-man-for-me. One day dating will seem easier, probably right around the time I meet Mr. Right and never date again. Until then, here's yet another story of my failed attempts...
I was out for drinks with a friend of mine when two guys walked in and sat at the table next to us. I recognized them as guys I had talked to several months earlier. They're out of state guys hanging out at the local watering hole while living out of suitcases for some job. We had some friendly conversation the last time I saw them and I told them I'd be around the bar to chat again in the future and then proceeded to not show up at said bar again for 3 months. Nice of me, right? I swear it wasn't intentional. Fast forward three months later and as I get up from the table to walk to the other side of the bar, one of the guys grabs my arm and says, "You're not leaving, are you? I've waited 3 months to talk to you again and I'd hate to see you leave right now." Sweet in a sort of creepy way. I assured him I wasn't leaving and would be back to chat with him and his buddy later, and I did.
Conversation was all good just like before, and I'll admit I thought one of the guys was kind of attractive. He was from West Virginia and had a well-kept beard, appealing to the small part of me that seems to have a thing for lumberjacks or mountain men or something. As we're talking, he mentions going to see his son the following weekend. I'm usually not one for the ready-made family, but he was easy to talk to and seemed cute in the horrible bar lighting, so I let it slide. Then he says, "I have to spend time with him while I can. He's 17 and will be going to college next year and..." I'm sure there was more after that, but once I heard 17 and college, my mind left the conversation and started doing mental math. I kept telling myself that this was still salvageable. I know people who got married days after high school graduation and had kids within a year afterwards. If that's the case, that would put him mid-30s. No problem. Hell, I know people who had kids while still in high school.... even better! I'll let this go on for a bit longer....
So then we start talking jobs and I tell him I work for the state. He starts reminiscing about when he worked for the state right out of high school and how he was just starting to enjoy that job, but left it to join the military. What prompted the sudden change? Well, one of his close friends was killed in the first Gulf War. That's right, Operation Desert Storm, as in the war fought from 1990-1991. Yet again, my mind leaves the conversation and heads over to do some mental math. I remembered when the war was because I had an uncle who served in Iraq during that time. I distinctly remembered being in 3rd grade and about 8-9 years old. This guy was serving our country overseas while I was buying New Kids on the Block gear and singing Debbie Gibson songs in my hairbrush. Logic says he's at least a decade older than me. My friend told me to ask him directly how old he was, except that idea scared me. By not asking, I can crunch the numbers in my favor and pretend he's late 30s to early 40s. But if I ask, well, I don't want to even imagine how that turns out.
I understand age is just a number. I'm pushing 29, feel 22 and have been told I look 24. What difference does it make if this guy is 35 or 49? It shouldn't make one at all, really, but for some reason it does to me. Forgive me if I want to date a guy closer to my age than my father's. I would love to say this is the only time I've had this issue, but I'm really terrible at guessing ages. I'm ok with realizing when a guy is younger than me, but for the most part I have this mindset that anyone who isn't clearly older than me must be somewhere around my age. I'm usually shocked when I hear someone's actual age, as I'm normally way off in my assumptions (people should be thanking me, really).
You know what would be great? If you found out everything of importance about a person when you first said hello. Like if I walked up to a guy in a bar and said hello and a neon sign above his head said "35 and married but not wearing a ring" or "26, single, mommy's boy" or "42, in a relationship, thinks it's cool to text pictures of his penis." That would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? Though I hate to think of what mine would say...
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