I have really enjoyed writing this blog. It's been a great way to clear my head, keep my heart safe, and prevent me from making dozens of calls to tell the same story repeatedly. But for all the good it has done, it has also brought some complications to my love life.
The primary problem is that, by putting it all out there, people know I'm single. How is that a problem? It's resulted in people coming out of the woodwork to take me out or tell me how they've always felt. It's not that I think I'm better than anyone else or that I'm an evil woman, it's just that the guys who have been contacting me lately are guys I'm not interested in dating. It's not you, it's not me, it's chemistry. We don't have it. Or, as seems to be the case recently, you think we have it and I disagree. The guys who have asked me out since I started this blog a few months ago have been guys I've known for years. Let's think about this for a second.... We've known each other for a long time. I'm obviously putting myself out there. If I thought you're the guy I'm looking for, trust me, you'd know it. I've never been particularly good at hiding my feelings for someone. If I have a thing for you, it's pretty obvious.
That being said, the biggest problem I have with this blog is that it has taken away my ability to tell little white lies. I'm the kind of person who wants everyone to be happy and everything to be harmonious and in balance (a true-to-form Libra, for those of you who believe in astrology). If we go out and I realize I'm not feeling it, I don't want to waste my time or yours. I also don't want to be mean or hurt your feelings, so if you ask me out again I'll generally default to the little white lie. Usually, something like "I'd like to hang out with you as friends, but you should know I'm seeing someone" would do the trick. But when you're posting updates on your single life for all the world to see, it's damn near impossible to say that you're seeing someone. When it came to guys on dating sites, it was easy for me to say I didn't think we were a good match or that I wasn't interested. But these aren't guys from dating sites. These are guys I know and have known for a good while. These are guys I consider friends - friends I never want to make out with or marry.
So the question is what do I do? I try to steer clear of the vanishing act, but have used it in the past and will use it again if I absolutely have to. What I'm looking for is the nice way to say "I'm just not that into you." If you have any suggestions, please let me know. All I've got so far is "I see those stars in your eyes. Stop that shit." I know! Maybe if I passive-aggressively complain about it on my blog, certain people will get the hint! That's the best idea I've had all day!!
Moving on... For those of you wondering how I keep getting myself into this pickle, it's quite simple actually. I'm being completely blindsighted! I take everything at face value, so when a guy says it would be cool to grab some lunch or coffee and catch up on what's happened in our lives since we last saw each other, I think we're doing just that. And then, at some point over the course of lunch or dinner or coffee he makes an obvious comment or brings up my relationship status (or lack thereof) and I think to myself, "Crap... here we go again." So the secret's out now. If you want a date with me, just tell me we should get together to catch up. It seems I can't say no to that offer. My favorites have been the guys who have said they were coming to my town for something, only to find out later that they were coming to town to see me and made up having a work/family/whatever obligation. Jerks. That's not flattering. That's obnoxious. For the record, only one guy over the course of the last 6 months has been able to pull the "we should catch up" card and have success, so just stop already.
I'll end my rant with this quote: "When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."
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