I'm Not Your Single Friend

I've been on hiatus the last couple of weeks.  This wasn't an intentional break from blogging, but an accidental one resulting from the fact that I've had no thoughts, encounters, or moments over the last few weeks that made me think "Oh I need to post about that!"  I did briefly entertain the idea of blogging about relationship-related things I was thankful for, but then life got in the way and I didn't have two seconds at my computer to spit out a post.  But on looking back at the last couple of blog-free weeks, and the last few months, actually, I feel the need to point something out to those of you who are still reading: I am not one-dimensional.

Contrary to what you may think given the nature of my posts, there is more to me than my relationship status.  And while you may be reading this thinking "duh.. I know that," it's becoming clear to me that some people don't.  This begins my rant.

I don't spend my waking hours or my dreaming ones thinking of Mr. Right or longing for my wedding day.  It will come in time, but I don't obsess over it.  I don't wonder if every guy I come in contact with is single or if he could be the guy for me.  I don't read romance novels or watch Lifetime movies (though I do watch reruns of "How I Met Your Mother" on Lifetime, but that's it).  As a matter of fact, my book collection includes humor, short story anthologies, sports books, inspirational books, biographies, books on terrorism and classics.  I keep my reading of romance novels to summertime when I want something I can read in one sitting at the pool, though most of my reading material this past summer was the latest issue of The New Yorker magazine.  And my favorite TV shows?  Mostly crime dramas. I hate that the original Law & Order is gone, but I watch SVU and really enjoy Criminal Minds and CSI:NY. I also record House, HIMYM, Big Bang Theory, and Glory Daze because the humor keeps me balanced.

The folks who really know me, my actual friends, know there's more to me than who I'm dating, and I am forever grateful for that.  But there are so many people out there who claim to be a friend but have this idea that I am best described as "the single girl" and it's beginning to bother me.  I hate that there are people who think it's helpful or friend-like to mention my name when a guy says that he's single.  I prefer the people who mention my name when someone says they enjoy politics (don't remember if I mentioned this in any previous posts, but my full-time job is in government).  And while I appreciate book recommendations, I like the kind that come when asked or when someone tags me in a facebook list of good books they've read.  I may not have responded to that post, but it's helping me to prioritize what I read next on my list of 30 books to read before I turn 30, so thanks.  But if you think you're being a great friend for letting me know Steve Harvey has another relationship book out, you're doing quite the opposite.  I work part-time at a bookstore. Trust me, I know about Steve Harvey's new book.  If it's something I want to pick up then I will, but it's highly unlikely that it will ever happen (as one of my BFF's told me - I'm not socially retarded and don't need to waste my time on self-help crap).  And your attempt at being a great friend is actually showing me how little you really know about me.

I understand that it is my responsibility to help you know me better, so here are some suggestions of ways to think of me (in no particular order):

• The girl who enjoys dancing - I'm currently in my 17th year of jazz, tap, ballet and lyrical classes at a studio I began at when I was 2.  I also took 2 years of dance classes in college and was part of the Theatre Dance Ensemble.
• The girl who likes football - I spend Friday nights in the fall in the press box at my high school football stadium. My dad is the announcer and I'm his spotter.  I watch football on Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays and the occasional Thursday (unless I'm at work). I love the Saints, LSU and the Voodoo arena football team.
• The girl who is sarcastic/snarky - I have friends who think my sarcasm is endearing and that it makes me funny. That's cool.  The simple fact is that I'm not the girl who will dote over you and fake concern. Case in point: a guy at the store (attractive and unmarried, at that) told me that a piece of ceiling tile fell mere inches from where he was standing and that he could've been hurt (not in the sense that he wanted to speak to a manager, but more in the sense that he was trying to flirt with me - had been all night). My response: "Yeah, I saw you go down that aisle and then I saw the tile fall and I thought 'that could suck.' Come back and see us and we promise not to try to kill you next time."  Apparently the correct response involved me saying something like, "You poor thing! Are you ok?" or some similar crap.  Again, I'm not that girl.
• The girl who did pageants - It's true. I started competing in high school and continued in college. Won a couple of titles, spent most of my time as the perpetual first-runner up, and even vied for the title of Miss Louisiana (America, not USA).  Won some good scholarship money, had a great wardrobe, had a crew that followed me around while I competed (my "traveling circus"... love those guys), learned a lot about the citrus industry, got to know different parts of the state, and had an awesome time doing all of it! There continue to be girls out there who call me for advice when they compete in different pageants, and I'm always happy to help and lend out some interview suits or evening gowns.
• The girl who knows a good deal about disasters - I'm talking fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, that kind of stuff.  I spent 4 years chasing hurricanes with FEMA and moved to North Carolina to get a graduate certificate in Emergency Management.  When I was with FEMA, I worked with the nonprofit and faith-based groups to help those who were falling through the cracks. I worked long hours and long weeks (often 12-hour days and 7-day weeks), but at the end of it all I knew people were able to return home partly because of my efforts, and that's an unbelievable feeling.
• The girl who cracks up bookstore coworkers with her bad Sarah Palin impression - It's really not that special or good, but some of the guys find it hilarious. I throw out my best Fargo accent and say "You betcha!" and "Dontcha know" and they laugh every time.  I'm no Tina Fey, but it helps the closing shifts go by faster.
• The girl whose brother works in NASCAR - I used to hate auto racing with a passion. I mean, what could possibly be fun about watching grown men spend 3 hours making left turns? But my brother wanted nothing more than to work in that industry and I will always support him.  Three years ago he was hired on by the best company in all of NASCAR, Hendrick Motorsports, and at 24 he is the proud owner of 3 championship rings.  And after living with him in Charlotte (race capital of the USA) for 2 years, I now know more about the sport than I ever thought I would.  This can also be cross-referenced with the girl who is really close to her brother and is so proud of his success she sometimes tears up thinking about it.

Those are just a few of the things I thought about, but there are others.  I have friends who associate me with the one Cher song I hate, friends who associate me with cows (only black & white ones, though), and a whole host of other things.  I hope that, going forward, people will associate me with any or all of these things I mentioned, rather than only seeing me as the girl with the relationship blog who is looking for a man.  If you really knew me, you'd know that's not me at all.

*end rant*