There comes a point after the initial messages and phone number swaps (or FB friend requests) that it's time to meet the person on the other side of the computer. So far, this has happened to me exactly twice, and both times have been, well, something.
After ridiculous amounts of back-and-forth texting, Dr. Funnyman wanted to meet up. I was in the city for July 4th weekend, so we picked a quick coffee meeting before I had to leave town (at some point I'll be able to drink my weight in coffee). We met at a local shop on a busy Uptown street and made it easier to spot each other by describing outfits and whatnot. Much to my surprise, I noticed his pictures did not do him any sort of justice. He was an attractive guy, and I already knew he was also smart and funny. This is looking like a good thing to me. We got our drinks and opted for a table outside and that's when things got.... awkward. Now, some degree of awkwardness is to be expected when meeting someone in person for the first time. There were a few quiet moments, but there was also a good bit of dialogue. He wanted to know more about my pictures on the site (they don't have captioning, so there's some mystery there) and I wanted to know more about the research article he was working on. We talked about the Saints, families, the holiday weekend, our jobs. One thing struck me as very odd - he kept looking away, as if eye contact bothered him. Was there something on my face? Was his former flame sitting on the other side of the windows, giving him the evil eye? I have no idea. (I did notice he was looking away to the left, which, according to some nonsense article I read somewhere means he was trying to recall information. When a guy looks away to the right, he's formulating a lie. Don't know how true it is, but I read it in a magazine, so I'll take it as gospel until someone refutes it.) A little over an hour and a couple of weird hugs later, I was headed back to my parents' house when I got a text from Dr. Funnyman thanking me for meeting him and expressing what a good time he had. I dismissed that one as him being polite and figured his true interest would be shown in the following days if I ever heard from him again.
I did hear from him again, the next day and the day after. He would text me throughout the workday when things were slow, and I'd text him responses and anecdotes about how it was crazy person week at my office. The next couple of days after that, I realized I had become the one instigating the texting. I thought he may be busy, but then I though he may just not be that into me. So I devised a test (let me know if this was a bit foolish, or a good call - I'm undecided): I stopped sending the first message of the day. The result: I haven't heard from him in about 5 days. There is no shortage of guys out there, so I'm not too bummed about it, but the paid site keeps suggesting him as a match and I want to tell it to back off or move on to the next contestant. (Same site keeps suggesting I match with ex-boyfriends, stalkers or guys I've previously slept with which, while hilarious to me, is futile in my quest for finding The One. There should be someway to submit a list of guys to not include in results or something. But I digress...)
On to the next guy!
Musicmaker and I have been chatting on FB off and on for the last week or so. The conversations flow easily and he's a guy in a band - what's not to like?! We tried coordinating schedules to meet up at some point, but with my 2 jobs and his job & rehearsal for the cd release party and subsequent tour, it's been difficult. So he mentioned that he may stop by the bookstore where I work just to say hello and get that initial meeting out of the way. He stopped by last night, and, well, you know that guy in high school who walked & talked funny and was a little dweeby and not so smooth with the ladies? Yeah, he's back, except now he's a musician in his mid-20s who still isn't very smooth. Dude, you're in a band! You're about to go on a tour with a couple of serious, legit bands! Time to grow an ego, get some confidence, and start acting like you've got groupies swarming at you. I've done my time as a groupie - to unsigned bands who only released cd's on their websites (I know, way to reach for the stars with the guys in my life) - and those guys acted way cooler and more macho than you did last night. Maybe it was that awkward 1st meeting thing. Maybe it was the fact that you caught me at the end of my shift and I was straightening up books in the sexuality section. Maybe it was the fact that I had on one of my latest purchases from Victoria's Secret and the sisters were working for me. Or maybe that's just how you always are. But whatever it was, the whole meek young guy who still lives with mom & dad thing didn't get me all hot under the collar. Instead, it had me thinking of the reasons I had sworn off younger guys for so long. Some girls are into finding guys they can teach a thing or two. I'm not one of those girls. I'm not looking for a boy, I'm looking for a man. So man up or move on.
So now the count is at 0-2. Like I said before, there are still plenty of other guys. At some point in the near future (maybe the next week or so), I'm going to have my first in-person meeting with Rocketman. We text daily and we've had a real phone conversation (something I didn't get with the other two guys). The phone call went well. He was the first guy in a while (probably my entire dating history) that managed to speak more than I did. Score one point for him. His voice wasn't what I expected, but I still liked it and enjoyed talking to him. We'll see what happens when we finally meet.
In the meantime, I'm going to continue pondering at what point I unfriend (defriend?) these guys on FB. There's no future there for us and I like to keep my FB friends as people I know, people who I'm comfortable having access to pictures of me with my family. These guys don't fall into that category. I also really want to post a note about starting this blog so that other people can come check it out, but I don't want to risk one of them flying off the handle about it. Though if that happens, that's a great opportunity to cross someone off the list.
I guess I'll go back to looking through my match results, finding new coffee shops to try, and keeping my fingers crossed.
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