An Open Letter To Winkers

Dear Potential Man of my Dreams,

Hey there!  I came to check out the latest on the dating site and saw that I had a new wink from you. I guess you liked my profile, or my picture, or both.  But I'm not really sure what it was that caught your attention, because all you did was wink.  There was no message, no note saying how much you really enjoy similar things or how you also have a picture with a friend at the NFC championship game.  But while your wink didn't tell me a lot about what you liked about me, it did tell me a good bit about you.

The wink, wannabe Mr Right, is a cop-out.  It's the equivalent of eyeing up a girl in public and never saying a word to her.  Sure she knows you're interested in her, but either you're not interested enough to strike up a conversation or you're just plain scared of rejection.  So you wink.  I know it's not your fault that the sites give you this option, but it is your fault for using it.

What happens when you do see a girl in public that you may be attracted to?  Do you wink at her then?  Probably not. Nobody winks anymore, unless they're being ironic.  I know if I see a guy winking at someone, I think he either (a) is lame or (b) has something in his eye.  But when you wink at me online, I think that either (a) you're afraid of being shot down or (b) you didn't take the time to read my profile and find a conversation starter.  Either way, this doesn't pan out well for you.  What's the worst that could happen if you send a message to me saying you think Mitch Hedberg is funny too?  I'll tell you - I could not respond at all or respond that I'm not interested.  Is that really so bad?  You don't know me at all, so it's not like you had put all of your effort into making me love you, only to get your heart trampled on (a little extreme, I know).  And there are still MILLIONS of other girls on the site, so you can very easily move on to the next one.  And you know what else could happen if you decided to message me instead of wink? I could actually respond with something showing mutual interest, we could have a conversation, and go from there.  I'd say 99.9% of the guys who have messaged me have gotten a response (the ones who didn't blatantly ignored my preferences).  But do you know how many of the winkers have gotten a response from me?  Only 1 of the 50+, and that guy was smokin' hot with an awesome profile and a damn good reason for winking.

So I ask you to consider these things I have written next time you want to reach out to a girl but don't want to reach all the way.  A little effort goes a long way and can give you some much better results.  Good luck in your search for true love.

Sincerely,

Me

PS - ;)